Audio Post

[makes_you_tick]

[ Private//unhackable to Peter, Claire, and Faith- visible to Lorne and Romana - and yes, he's finally using other people's provided filters]

So I'm dead. It was painful, and then nothing, and then- dirt, everywhere. Good choice, burying me alive, by the way. I'm definitely developing a phobia.

And now I can't go home and do what I was planning to do. No killing everyone at the carnival, no brutally murdering those who turned me into Nathan. If all goes like it should, I will never darken anyone's doorstep in our old world again.

Thank you for that.



I can't say that I'll never do anything like that again, as much as I want to, because you all know how I am. I say I want to start over, I get it wrong, more people get hurt, et cetera et cetera. I don't want to ask about me, but instead want to...make reparations, if possible. If there's anything at all I can do to start to make up for my actions, tell me. Jail time, community service- hell, if one of you'd like to punch me in the face and take all my money, I'd say it's yours.

I know I can't fix this. I know there's something wrong with me, and I know I've said in the past that I can't figure it out on my own. I'm just tired of using that as- an excuse, I guess.

[/end private]


So, what'd I miss?

Comments

[dreamsofnoah]

You were gone?

[makes-you-tick.livejournal.com]

I was gone. Am I usually that quiet?

[dreamsofnoah]

No~, you're not.

I know you were. Did you go back home again?

[makes-you-tick.livejournal.com]

Nope. And I won't be, either- which should solve this pesky 'dropping out of existence' problem.

[dreamsofnoah]

Oh~?

Ooh. Played too many games?

This comment does not exist

[valentineluke.livejournal.com]

*watching - will this be as entertaining as the previous 'show' was?*

[makes-you-tick.livejournal.com]

I suppose you could put it that way.

So how've you been, Road? Anything new while I was gone?

[dreamsofnoah]

I'm okay~!

And Allen's back! The Bookman too...there's a lot of his friends here now, the most there's ever been I think.

[makes-you-tick.livejournal.com]

Oh, I remember Allen. I'm glad he came back- I know how disappointed you were when he left.

private | unhackable

[tothelibrary.livejournal.com]

What, no Pay Per View snuff films?

[dreamsofnoah]

I was. It wasn't nice of him to leave like that at all. I'm glad he's back too~. The other Exorcists aren't nearly as fun.

private | unhackable

[makes-you-tick.livejournal.com]

Not any more, no.

Sorry you saw that, Dawn, but- well, I suppose you understand Claire a little better now.

private | unhackable

[tothelibrary.livejournal.com]

Wow, you're not even going to pretend you're really sorry I saw that? I can't believe I ever trusted you.

private | unhackable

[makes-you-tick.livejournal.com]

I just said I was, and I am.

But to be honest, I can't really believe you ever trusted me, either. Guess you had to see it to believe it.

private | unhackable

[tothelibrary.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, the sincerity is overwhelming.

Am I supposed to feel bad for you?

private | unhackable

[makes-you-tick.livejournal.com]

How do I say I'm sorry for that? If there's a way that I could, and have it mean something, please tell me.

Nope. In fact, you shouldn't even be talking to me, should you? But if you feel the need to keep yelling at me, go right ahead. I deserve it for much more than my recent little foray into violence.

private | unhackable

[tothelibrary.livejournal.com]

Usually I find 'don't do it at all' is better. Or prison. Have you considered prison?

...I'm not yelling, I'm lecturing.

private | unhackable

[makes-you-tick.livejournal.com]

I'm considering prison. I'm not sure if they even have one now, after the last one exploded, but I'm sure the police here could make something up for me.

Lecturing is fine, too.

private | unhackable

[tothelibrary.livejournal.com]

Spike died to save the world. He didn't torture someone first, though.

Yeah. Well. You're stupid on massive levels, just so you know.

private | unhackable

[makes-you-tick.livejournal.com]

He never tortured anyone?

Yes, I've noticed. I tend to be pretty bad at saving the world, too. Guess I'd better work at that.

private | unhackable

[tothelibrary.livejournal.com]

Have you considered starting small? Save an antfarm. Or an aquarium.

private | unhackable

[makes-you-tick.livejournal.com]

I might be able to manage an antfarm.

private | unhackable

[tothelibrary.livejournal.com]

It's a start.

...You put her in the hospital, you know. Faith and hospitals? Not good.

private | unhackable

[makes-you-tick.livejournal.com]

...yeah. I know.

Is she out yet?

private | unhackable

[tothelibrary.livejournal.com]

She made that creepy Eddie guy take her home before Dr. Chase cleared her.

...What? I Network stalk.